I know of a couple with two children. When we go to visit with them, the moment we step through the door there is this noise in the home. The noise sounds as though there is a crowd of people in there. There is the television blaring in the background because it can't be heard over the noise. There is a stereo in another room turned on trying to drown out the noise of the "crowd" and be heard over the television, and then there is our noise of greetings and salutations trying to be heard over all of the combined noise. At that moment it simply sounds like a dull roar. Just how Walter Cronkite used to end his evening news report, "And that's the way it is". All of the time.
Every year we get together with all of our close friends that live a bit of a distance away, including the couple referred to above. We get together to watch a special program that comes on once a year. This year I noticed one of the husbands of one of our other friends was pretty much standing through the entire program, close to one of the speakers connected to the television. I began taking note as to why. The couple with the two children, their children were making so much noise that the television could not be heard. There was an additional child of another guest that was playing with the children and whom also was as noisy as the other two children only because that child had someone to play with amongst all of the adults there. I sat and looked around and listened. Pretty much all of the adults were paying attention to the programming, concentrating on what could be heard from the television. There was some minor conversation going, but that was comments about what was being shown. The noise was mainly coming from the children and as the volume of the television increased for the courtesy of our guests, so did the volume of the children. I had turned to the mother of the two older children and I commented on the husband standing so close to the speaker as though he were trying to listen to the program. She replied that he was trying to hear the program. She said they have the same problem in their home. They can't hear the television no matter how loud it gets because of the noise of the children and what is on the television is never any adult programming. They have two televisions and neither of them can they watch because the moment they sit down to watch television the children gravitate in there with them but don't watch nor do they listen, but the television can't be heard because of the noise being heard from the children. They haven't even watched the news for years. As a test, I asked her about something what happened on Desperate Housewives. She was not aware of the program because they weren't able to sit down and watch television. They simply can't hear it. She went on to tell me that during the evening hours, every light in the house is turned on lighting it up like a Christmas tree because the children just can't enter a dark room. They aren't afraid of the dark. The light just has to be on. While speaking with her, one of the children came over during our conversation and complained that we did not have our light on in the kitchen. The mother did have the gumption to explain that we are in someone else's home and here we don't have all the lights home. The child started to react negatively and the mother told her that if they had to, they could go sit in the truck until they decided to leave, but the lights will stay off because that is the way we want it in our home. The child turned to me as if to ask if the light could be turned on and my immediate reply was to leave it off since there was no reason to have it on in an area where no one was. She turned and walked back to play with the other children. I don't cater to ill behavior by children and I don't cater to ill behavior by adults. The mother went on to explain that pretty much their house is run by the children and they cater to their needs. So as far as doing "adult" things, that is out of the question.
One thing to note in this is that the older child has been diagnosed with autism. Now, I have seen children diagnosed with autism that will not recognize who stands before them. Sometimes they will sit in a place and rock, or they will sit in a corner and rock endlessly because it makes them feel comfortable and safe. I have also seen them with autism so bad that they have to wear helmets to keep them from harming themselves when they run head first into a wall. This child, if the child has autism, is not that bad. What I feel the child has is a severe case of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. What makes it worse is the parents cater to the child's wants and rarely lift a finger of correction to her except to take her to a school of special needs. What the child really needs is to be told, "No" once in awhile and as crushing as that may sound to the child, the child needs to be put in their place instead of directing the parents as to what to do. This is a very young child now. I hate to see what happens when they become an educated teenager. Already, I can sit by and watch the situations between mother and child or father and child and I can tell that this child knows exactly what button to push and at what time to push it. In the end, she gets what she wants. She may have to work at it a little longer than at other times, but eventually she gets what she wants when all along, if that was going to be the end result the parents should have just immediately said, "Yes".
Cater. I don't cater. I don't cater to nobody. If I see something that is unreasonable, I don't give in unless there will be a positive result. Some parents are afraid to simply say "No!". Some parents will allow their child to sit in their lap on a flight somewhere and kick the back of the sit in front of them THE WHOLE FREAKIN' FLIGHT! Those are the parents that I would like to just turn around in my seat, reach down the parents throat, grab them by the asshole and rip it back through their mouth. This was at a time before 9/11 and people were not so annoyed, but this no longer is tolerated because the flight attendants will not tolerate any kind of violent reaction on board anymore. Lucky for me.
I was raised with corporal punishment. If I did something wrong, the infraction was weighed with the level of punishment to be doled out. If the infraction deemed corporal punishment, then either I got spanked with a hand or a belt and nothing more. It only took one or two swats before I decided that I would not be performing that infraction again. So, pretty much, I grew up a good boy until I got "educated". Then I had to get myself out of my own trouble. Parents today are even afraid to say no. They won't lift a finger toward the child because they don't want to crush the child's esteem. Or, they may cause brain damage if they receive a swat. If a swat on the bottom may cause brain damage, that child has a lot more trouble going on for it than just to follow instruction. There's always a time for using a corporal punishment and not every infraction should be dealt with using corporal punishment otherwise it becomes useless. At the same time, when using corporal punishment, that is not to say stand there and whip the child like an impudent horse. I can't stand it when I hear of a child being beat by a parent. That parent needs to be taken out behind the wood shed and be educated himself. There is always reasonable punishment to fit the crime.
Getting back to the noise, all children make noise. I don't mind it. But when it becomes so loud that it begins to interfere, then they need to take it some place else, play more quietly, or not at all. We can be reasonable. I like to watch children play and have a good time because I try to see things through their eyes. I try to envision what they see before I became educated. I'm sure, as adults, we all miss that time before responsibility became a way of life. But why allow the inmates to run the asylum?
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