Satisfaction

So, here I am.  I wasn't able to go to college because I didn't want to make the sacrifices that others make if they really want to go, like living in such a small ass place that you can't even fart in the place and walk away so that you don't have to smell it.  Or, picking up food in places when you should be paying for it.  Whatever it takes to go to college and you aren't able to get any school loans because of some governmental quota system.  I was denied entrance to a major university in Houston because of such a quota system  so was a gentleman by the name of Allan Bakke out in California.  He was denied entrance to University of California at Davis.  The only difference was, he was able to take his case to court.  He won his case.  But, he won after eight years.  Just long enough so that he was too old to go and acquire his medical degree.  I couldn't even take my case to court.  Disappointed?  If I dwell on it, I let it control me.  If I let it control me, then it eats me up inside and I am no longer that person that I used to be.  So, I held my chin up and moved on.  Just like the shitheads in my high school.  If I dwell on the way they treated me, then I become angry and lose myself.  So, I moved on.  If I allow them to bother me or effect me in anyway, they have won.  Those hypocrites in school that tried to "save" me and get me to follow the Lord.  I could see that they weren't practicing what they preached and I refused to follow such hypocrisies.  They gave up on me and moved on.  The negative path that some of them followed, because I exacerbated the path that they followed, they became jealous and no longer wanted to associate with me or even know me.  Fuck them too.  I moved on.  I haven't missed a thing.  My ex-wife.  After she discovered that I was not about to commit suicide at her request just so that she could collect on my life insurance policy, and by the way, to demonstrate how stupid and ignorant she is, insurance companies don't pay if it is suicide, then she decided just to kidnap my kids and be done with me.  After calling the police, they tell me a domestic quarrel is not considered kidnapping.  I suppose if I beat the crap out of her everyday or molested the children in someway, she would have every right to kidnap my kids and I would have been more understanding.  This couldn't be further from the truth.  Even with the great salary I was able to acquire even without a college degree, we didn't purchase the two story home on the hill with a picket fence around the yard like she had expected by now. She was able to steal all the money out of the bank only to be used on jewelry for herself, new clothing for herself, while she dressed the children in used and hand made clothes.  The rest of the story is detailed in my book.  In the meantime, I had gotten wind of a class reunion with my high school.  I called to get the details, but had discovered that nothing had changed.  When the person on the other end of the phone realized who I was, they hung up.  In other words, even after all this time has passed (ten years), we still don't want you here.  I never gave it a second thought.  Why would anyone want to go back to visit with people that treated you like crap in the first place.  Why reopen those wounds?  Does one enjoy self-persecution?  Since it was just me now, why not enjoy myself?  I began taking vacation time and hitchhiking around the country.  I wouldn't so much as suggest it now because the world has become even more mean than it was when I was younger.  Unless one is physically able to handle themselves and willing to deal with the aftermath that comes from protecting one's self, it's not advisable to hitchhike anymore.  I enjoyed myself.  I had my encounters on the road.  I took care of those encounters and never looked back.  I have kept my chin up ever since and those that don't want to associate with me, their loss and my gain.  My nose is clean now and I'm satisfied.