Expressions

I have associated with teenagers before whom in conversation have expressed some difficulty in their life.  Because of the direction the conversation would take, they must have been looking for a response, so I responded with my own experiences and how I handled them at the time.  Because of my response to their explanation, and my suggestions of how they might try handling their predicament, they then responded with, "You must be a "preacher".  It's not a matter of preaching.  If they weren't feeling some uncomfortableness in their life, they wouldn't be expressing themselves to me.  If they were expressing themselves to me, then there must have been some sign that their parents weren't interested in their feelings and emotions.  They must have been too caught up in their own lives to pay attention and listen to their children.  Some children act out violently because it is the only reaction they know to respond with.  That isn't the answer either.  The answer isn't to get back at them.  One never wants to get back at another.  They should always get even.  Getting even is a "punishment" that fits the "crime".  A child that gets so harassed, so ridiculed, so persecuted that they feel compelled to take a gun to school to "even" the score is not the answer.  That child is only getting back.  He is not getting even.  That does no good what so ever except to get someone hurt and usually, it is the innocent bystanders that get hurt.  For the child that feels this uncomfortable in life, the answer cannot be found in a day.  It can't be found in a week.  It may not even be found in a month.  It takes a great deal of contemplation.  Even outside intervention may be needed.  An immediate response is only "looking" for trouble and it will be trouble that there will be no turning back on and could even be detrimental not only to the victim, but innocent bystanders.  Patience.  As quoted by Pema Chodron, "Buddhism teaches us that patience is the antidote to anger and aggression."  One needs to stop, wait, and get "smart" about his reaction.  Whatever you do, whatever you say at that moment, it will be wrong.  His blog expresses what I cannot.  He teaches what I cannot put into words.  If everyone were to read his blog, it is my feeling many people would react differently toward one another and the world would be a better place with his teaching.  Soon, everything comes around and falls into place just as you would be hoping for.  It's all about patience.

If parents would take a moment from their busy lives, if they would put down the remote for a moment, if only they would sit with their children and allow conversation to come from them, let it flow like water from a fall; don't force it; observe and listen, then maybe they might discover something about their children.  However, those children that never speak about issues in their life, they are hiding something.  What they are hiding is only destructive to those whom love them the most.  What they don't realize is that when they hide things, they are pushing away the most important people in their life.  When they make an unsatisfactory choice, the reaction they receive may not be the one they are looking for and one of two things will happen.  Either they will lose the one that loves them the most, or the one that loves them the most will be lost forever.  The result will be the same.  For those in an uncomfortable situation, don't be afraid to express yourself.  Just be smart about who you express yourself to.  Above all, don't feed your enemy.  Just be patient.