Making Sacrifices

Once I was out of high school, that was the time to become an "adult".  You don't have to go to college if you don't want to.  It's a smarter road to take, but you don't have to if you don't want to.  It takes money to go.  If you don't have it, you need to get it.  You need to apply for loans.  You need to have all the right answers on the applications.  You need to present all the right "papers".  My father on the other hand, felt the need to remain as "private" as possible.  That meant that as few people as possible needed to know what he did with his money or where it came from and that included colleges, universities, and the IRS.  Since he would not allow copies of his tax returns to be presented to the colleges and universities for application, that meant I was stopped dead in the water.  I tried to apply for government loans.  At that time, a government quota had to be met.  They wanted diversity in their school.  Upon application to a Houston university I was stopped because I wasn't a member of a minority that there was a quota for.  Much as the case of Allen Bakke vs The Regents of University of California , I didn't have the money to fight the issue and my parents didn't want to go to the trouble.  I kept trying to figure out how I could live on my own and go to school.  Sacrifices.  It's all about sacrifices and facing those fears.  Earlier in high school, I had injured my back working at a local grocery store.  I injured it in such a manner that the pain would not allow me to move my legs and for a short while I could not work.  It took me a year to recover.  Afterwards, trying to find a job was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.  Since I injured my back, almost no where could I find a job.  Talk about having adversity in life.  I grew up with a shithead brother that really didn't want a brother to start with.  I had to go to school where I got picked on since I didn't "fit in".  I tried fighting back, but that didn't work because all I got was in trouble.  Now, that I had become an "adult", I couldn't seem to support myself.  If I couldn't support myself, how was I ever going to support a girlfriend that someday I had hoped to marry.  My doctor sat me down in his office one day after examining my back x-rays and explained to me that with my particular injury, I would not be able to do this kind of work or that kind of work.  More than likely I would be living with my parents for quite a very long time.  Really doc?  Would you just like to pull the trigger now and spare me the pain and humiliation of being a weakling in adulthood also?  Really?  Reflecting on all of this, I did have it pretty good at home.  My clothing was paid for.  My food was paid for.  My electricity, gas, water, rent, everything was paid for.  My parents didn't believe in giving me an allowance.  "Allowance"?  Allowance for what?  I never did understand that.  If I needed money, I just asked and told them what I needed it for.  I was honest with them and they were honest with me.  So, I asked and I received.  If I were to move out into my own apartment, having trouble trying to find a job and wanting to go to school at the same time, there would have to be an awful lot of sacrifices that I would have to make of which I was not willing to.  So, I stayed home and went to a local community college paying for it myself with what measly little part-time job I could locate until I couldn't afford it anymore.  Also, looking at the future with my current girlfriend, as attractive as she was, I let her go and sent her on her way because I just knew I would not be able to support her.  I also went and bought a bicycle.  I didn't like being told "I can't".  I bought a bike and began riding long distances and eventually riding up to a hundred miles in a day.   After a time of riding like that, I built my back muscles up and I was able to find work of any kind.  I even did some construction work for a while when I was told I wasn't supposed to.  I was not going to be kept down.  But, by that time, I had lost my girlfriend, and I had to move on.  I made sacrifices after all and I had to keep my chin up while doing it.  I had made sacrifices after all.